Em's Dedication!

Last Sunday, Emma made her debut at church.  She rocked her first day at church which included her baby dedication, which was really us dedicating ourselves to raising her in a God honoring home and teaching her about Jesus.  It is always a touching moment to me when the congregation also stands in commitment of helping us raise our children to know and love the Lord.  We have felt and seen their commitment to our other children in action and words, and they no doubt will do the same for Em.  We were worried that Emma might not handle the crowds, attention, and noise...but she handled it all without too much fuss.  She stuck close to me in the baby carrier, which is a safe place for her to hunker down when she is nervous or scared.  The wonderful ladies, my friends, gave a cake reception after the service in celebration of Emma and her home coming!  It was a fun time of fellowship and excitement for our whole family..we felt so loved!! 



During Emma's dedication...she hammed it up and actually smiled at everyone with her adorable smile!  How could everyone NOT love her already!  Praise God for spontaneous smiles!

 

 



Our family of seven!! 

 





Emma with her Daddy and Grandpa...such a sweet picture!

 

I tried to upload a few more pictures...for like six hours...so I guess that will have to do for now!  :) 



Settling In..

I cannot believe we have been home for a whole week already.  Where does the time go?  As we three travelers get in sync with Pacific time..life is slowly finding a steady rhythmn that we might eventually call 'normal'.  :)  Emma is doing so well!  At times I look at her and, in between the hard moments, wonder when the bottom is going to fall out.  Where there once was an all-the-time vacant look on her face...we now see the occasional smile that is spontaneous!  You can make the sweet girl smile by provoking her with tickles or a game, but that first spontaneous smile she gave me when I walked into her room was PRICELESS!  I like what my sister-in-law, Caylene, had to say, you can just tell Emma has a beautiful soul and yes, she does!  It is always hard to see things when we are close up to them...but easier from a distance.  So it is with adoption.  I see all the things from Emma that are evidence of a neglectful beginning...and sometimes lose sight of the beautiful progress she is making.  Blank face into sunshine.  Wobbly hips to almost pulling herself up.  Tears at every diaper change to giggles.  Refusing all table food to eating with the family.  Sitting alone and not caring to crawling to another room to be near me.  Holding her bottle in a vise grip to letting me hold it for her.  Screaming fits of anxiety and fear to allowing herself to be consoled.  So many things to be thankful for!

We are so thankful that the other kids have welcomed and incorporated Emma into our lives and family so well.  Poor Beth has maybe had the worst time, sharing my attention with Emma.  She is already doing better though and seems to be getting as much if not more attention at times than Em.  She is figuring out the 'squeaky wheel gets the grease' routine.  But as we all settle in...we are home, Em is in our arms...the journey is only now beginning.  I have truly struggled with how to convey this journey (and how it might look) with others; family, friends, church family, etc... and just haven't really felt like I had the right words or venue to say them.  Adoption is such a journey, one I am so glad Justin and I said yes to and one that has changed our lives and the lives of our kids and those who love us, forever.  But I haven't had one-on-one conversations about this thing called adoption with too many people.  Emma is now the priority number one concern though and I know I need to help others understand what it is we are trying to accomplish.  I have read a lot (hundreds maybe) of blog posts over the last few months from moms on this similar journey..pouring over the ins and outs of once you get home and I have found one woman who says it out-right, very plain, with some humor.  I don't want to plaguerize but I really think the things she shares are close to the things on my heart.  So I will link her article...but also copy some of what she says here....she uses some sarcasm and humor, so don't be offended, it is well meant.  Maybe the things mentioned will spur you on to grow and understand what families are going through that have adopted.  I know before this journey began I really had no clue what my brother and his family went through, I made wrong conclusions and observations and didn't 'get it'...for which, believe me, I have apoligized for!  :)    So many things that seem 'normal'...really aren't for Emma...and things that don't seem normal...well, are normal.  It is hard to figure out but I am not ment to 'bear' it all alone...so read on if you want to join in the journey with us!  (another side note also...her article starts out sharing the do's and don't's for the entire adoption process..interesting read, too)

Supporting Families After the Airport  by Jen HatmakerYou went to the airport. The baby came down the escalator to cheers and balloons. The long adoption journey is over and your friends are home with their new baby / toddler / twins / siblings / teenager. Everyone is happy. Maybe Fox News even came out and filmed the big moment and “your friend” babbled like an idiot and didn’t say one constructive word about adoption and also she looked really sweaty during her interview. (Really? That happened to me too. Weird.)

How can you help? By not saying or doing these things:

1. I mean this nicely, but don’t come over for awhile. Most of us are going to hole up in our homes with our little tribe and attempt to create a stable routine without a lot of moving parts. This is not because we hate you; it’s because we are trying to establish the concept of “home” with our newbies, and lots of strangers coming and going makes them super nervous and unsure, especially strangers who are talking crazy language to them and trying to touch their hair.

2. Please do not touch, hug, kiss, or use physical affection with our kids for a few months. We absolutely know your intentions are good, but attachment is super tricky with abandoned kids, and they have had many caregivers, so when multiple adults (including extended family) continue to touch and hold them in their new environment, they become confused about who to bond with. This actually delays healthy attachment egregiously. It also teaches them that any adult or stranger can touch them without their permission, and believe me, many adoptive families are working HARD to undo the damage already done by this position. Thank you so much for respecting these physical boundaries.

3. For the next few months, do not assume the transition is easy. For 95% of us, it so is not. And this isn’t because our family is dysfunctional or our kids are lemons, but because this phase is so very hard on everyone. I can’t tell you how difficult it was to constantly hear: “You must be so happy!” and “Is life just so awesome now that they’re here??” and “Your family seems just perfect now!” I wanted that to be true so deeply, but I had no idea how to tell you that our home was actually a Trauma Center. (I did this in a passive aggressive way by writing this blog, which was more like “An Open Letter to Everyone Who Knows Us and Keeps Asking Us How Happy We Are.”) Starting with the right posture with your friends – this is hard right now – will totally help you become a safe friend to confide in / break down in front of / draw strength from.

4. Do not act shocked if we tell you how hard the early stages are. Do not assume adoption was a mistake. Do not worry we have ruined our lives. Do not talk behind our backs about how terribly we’re doing and how you’re worried that we are suicidal. Do not ask thinly veiled questions implying that we are obviously doing something very, very wrong. Do not say things like, “I was so afraid it was going to be like this” or “Our other friends didn’t seem to have these issues at all.” Just let us struggle. Be our friends in the mess of it. We’ll get better.

5. If we’ve adopted older kids, please do not ask them if they “love America so much” or are “so happy to live in Texas.” It’s this simple: adoption is born from horrible loss. In an ideal world, there would be no adoption, because our children would be with their birth families, the way God intended. I’ll not win any points here, but I bristle when people say, “Our adopted child was chosen for us by God before the beginning of time.” No he wasn’t. He was destined for his birth family. God did not create these kids to belong to us. He didn’t decide that they should be born into poverty or disease or abandonment or abuse and despair aaaaaaaall so they could finally make it into our homes, where God intended them to be. No. We are a very distant Plan B. Children are meant for their birth families, same as my biological kids were meant for mine. Adoption is one possible answer to a very real tragedy… after it has already happened, not before as the impetus for abandonment. There is genuine grief and sorrow when your biological family is disrupted by death and poverty, and our kids have endured all this and more. So when you ask my 8-year-old if he is thrilled to be in Texas, please understand that he is not. He misses his country, his language, his food, his family. Our kids came to us in the throes of grief, as well they should. Please don’t make them smile and lie to you about how happy they are to be here.

6. Please do not disappear. If I thought the waiting stage was hard, it does not even hold the barest candle to what comes after the airport. Not. The. Barest. Candle. Never have I felt so isolated and petrified. Never have I been so overwhelmed and exhausted. We need you after the airport way more than we ever needed you before. I know you’re scared of us, what with our dirty hair and wild eyes and mystery children we’re keeping behind closed doors so they don’t freak out more than they already have, but please find ways to stick around. Call. Email. Check in. Post on our Facebook walls. Send us funny cards. Keep this behavior up for longer than six days.

Here’s what we would love to hear or experience After the Airport:

1. Cook for your friends. Put together a meal calendar and recruit every person who even remotely cares about them. We didn’t cook dinners for one solid month, and folks, that may have single handedly saved my sanity. There simply are not words to describe how exhausting and overwhelming those first few weeks are, not to mention the lovely jetlag everyone came home with. And if your friends adopted domestically right up the street, this is all still true, minus the jetlag.

2. If we have them, offer to take our biological kids for an adventure or sleepover. Please believe me: their lives just got WHACKED OUT, and they need a break, but their parents can’t give them one because they are 1.) cleaning up pee and poop all day, 2.) holding screaming children, 3.) spending all their time at doctors’ offices, and 4.) falling asleep in their clothes at 8:15pm. Plus, they are in lockdown mode with the recently adopted, trying to shield them from the trauma that is Walmart.

3. Thank you for getting excited with us over our little victories. I realize it sounds like a very small deal when we tell you our kindergartener is now staying in the same room as the dog, but if you could’ve seen the epic level of freakoutedness this dog caused her for three weeks, you would understand that this is really something. When you encourage us over our incremental progress, it helps. You remind us that we ARE moving forward and these little moments are worth celebrating. If we come to you spazzing out, please remind us where we were a month ago. Force us to acknowledge their gains. Be a cheerleader for the healing process.

4. Come over one night after our kids are asleep and sit with us on our porch. Let me tell you: we are all lonely in those early weeks. We are home, home, home, home, home. Good-bye, date nights. Good-bye, GNO’s. Good-bye, spontaneous anything. Good-bye, church. Good-bye, big public outings. Good-bye, community group. Good-bye, nightlife. So please bring some community to our doorstep. Bring friendship back into our lives. Bring adult conversation and laughter. And bring an expensive bottle of wine.

5. If the shoe fits, tell adopting families how their story is affecting yours. If God has moved in you over the course of our adoption, whether before the airport or after, if you’ve made a change or a decision, if somewhere deep inside a fire was lit, tell us, because it is spiritual water on dry souls. There is nothing more encouraging than finding out God is using our families for greater kingdom work, beautiful things we would never know or see. We gather the holy moments in our hands every day, praying for eyes to see God’s presence, his purposes realized in our story. When you put more holy moments in our hands to meditate on, we are drawn deeper into the Jesus who led us here.

Here’s one last thing: As you watch us struggle and celebrate and cry and flail, we also want you to know that adoption is beautiful, and a thousand times we’ve looked at each other and said, “What if we would’ve said no?” God invited us into something monumental and lovely, and we would’ve missed endless moments of glory had we walked away. We need you during these difficult months of waiting and transitioning, but we also hope you see that we serve a faithful God who heals and actually sets the lonely in families, just like He said He would. And even through the tears and tantrums (ours), we look at our children and marvel that God counted us worthy to raise them. We are humbled. We’ve been gifted with a very holy task, and when you help us rise to the occasion, you have an inheritance in their story; your name will be counted in their legacy.

Because that day you brought us pulled pork tacos was the exact day I needed to skip dinner prep and hold my son on the couch for an hour, talking about Africa and beginning to bind up his emotional wounds. When you kidnapped me for two hours and took me to breakfast, I was at the very, very, absolute end that morning, but I came home renewed, able to greet my children after school with fresh love and patience. When you loved on my big kids and offered them sanctuary for a night, you kept the family rhythm in sync at the end of a hard week.

Thank you for being the village. You are so important

Bri here again..so I hesitate to hit publish..but I pray and hope you will recieve some of this information with an open mind and especially that if nothing else...it will spark your interest enough to ask questions!  We haven't set out to be dogmatic about life...so don't feel bad if you've already visited or held Emma, especially because we probably invited you over or handed her to you!  :)  Even as I wrote this post, Emma woke up from her nap in a terror.  She had a great morning, smiles & giggles, playtime and meal...then woke up not crying but screaming, not in a  fuss or to cry it out but in terror.  She screamed for 1 1/2 hours before she finally allowed herself to be comforted.  When she has these episodes it is almost like she isn't awake, she twists away, pushes away, avoids all eye contact, kicks, inflicts pain on herself or me if I allow her to, and has the most terrified look in her eyes.  It is hard.  It is scary.  Life is beautiful but there are thorns along the way!  Now, after that, more than ever I realize my own comfort in the tough subject isn't the priority..knowing what is best for her and doing it is.  Thanks for your understanding and support as we travel this healing path for Em. 

Here is the link for the entire article..it is so worth the time it takes to read...and you never know, you might find yourself in the position to use the advice or to realize you are not alone on the road of adoption!! :)  http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/11/02/how-to-be-the-village 

the rest of the story...

Obviously by now we are home...but I wanted to write how it all went down on our way home. We left our beautiful hotel in Guangzhou by way of a driver in a silver van, with the steering wheel on the right side of the car, he was from Hong Kong and had made the drive to get us. We only knew it was him because we knew what his license plate number was. His name was Mr. Chin, which made us laugh because that would be like Mr. Smith here. We met our guide at the Consulate and received our 'brown envelope' which is sealed and couldn't be opened until the agents at Immigration in Seattle received it in their hand. The drive was interesting because although we 'left' Guangzhou, we never left cityscape..I think they all just wound together one to another until we reached the border at Hong Kong. We had to get out of the car and walk through the building to get our passports checked and then we met the driver on the other side of the building. We didn't see much of Hong Kong as we headed to the airport hotel, but we drove over some impressive bridges spanning the inlets to the major ports. Their were huge cargo ships everywhere.

We got to our hotel around 7 pm and since it was connected to the airport we went walking to find our check-in spot for the early morning. Em had a hard time settling down to sleep and we were up at 5:20 in order to get where we needed to go. The airport at first seems very small but again, it was huge and it took us several escalators to get to the correct gate. It is so frustrating because you race through the airport, drooling at all the Starbuck coffee stands and restaurants that promise a tasty breakfast, only to keep racing to get closer to your gate, only to find out that there is NOTHING at your gate to eat or even to buy a bottle of water. Frustrating but true. We arrived the mandatory two hours early but by the time we got through all the lines, security, and various up and downs to find our gate, we only waited a few minutes to board. This plane ride was our first glimpse in a long time of other native English speaking people, which was nice. Emma traveled really well for the 3 1/2 hour ride. We reached the Tokyo airport only to be put into standby (circle mode) because there was a terrible wind and we could not land. We circled and went up and down for at least an hour before we made a white knuckle landing. You know when the flight attendants are gripping the sides of the plane as we land, that it is rough. We are so thankful to be safe from that. :) When we finally caught sight of land, it was a brown out dust/sand storm. Flights coming from all over were diverted, not sure why we were not. We got off our plane only to find out that our next plane to Seattle was suspended indefinitely and that the plane we were scheduled to take had been diverted to another city in Japan. After 9 hours of waiting in the Tokyo airport, we finally boarded our plane to Seattle, with a very tired little girl. Emma continues to amaze me, but she was DONE! :) We were seated first because of our 'small child' status, but then waited over an hour for the huge plane that was packed out to be loaded. The flight at that point seemed rather daunting but Emma did well, slept some, played, and only cried for about 45 minutes total over the whole 10 hours we were on the plane. We were feeling bedraggled by this time but were so thankful to land in Seattle. At this point, we went through customs and then immigration, where we had to turn over the all important sealed brown envelope. Emma was congratulated for her citizenship and we headed to the ticket counter to see what kind of mercy they could have on us. Come to find out they had a lot of mercy and helped us to get on the last flight of the evening to Pullman. Our car was in Spokane but our amazing brother-in-law Ben and one of our men that work for us went and got it for us. The flight over Washington was a beautiful sight and it was super fun to fly into Pullman because we pretty closely flew over our house...even though we could not see it. We didn't get to Pullman until after 11 so all but Mark stayed in bed, and we were greeted by Mark, Justin's sisters, and his parents. It was so wonderful!

We are so glad to be home and now are just looking to find the new normal. I took a picture of us eating dinner at the table tonight and was amazed at how God has grown our family. The table is pretty 'full of life'. Emma took her first meal at lunch today...with a spoon and everything. Apparently, she was just tired of food in China and is going to not be left behind at meal time by her siblings.

The kids are so thrilled with Emma and fought over who was going to play with her today. Ashley proudly announced to a visitor that brought us dinner that she has a new Chinese sister! Emma has taken their in her face excitement in stride and hasn't fussed much at all today. Beth is interested but not overly excited when Emma is in my lap, it will be an adjustment for her more than anyone, not being the baby anymore. The kids all seemed to grow up while we were gone, but Beth the most. She was my baby two weeks ago and now she seems so grown up and independent...how fast life goes by. So now as I sit here at 11:36, my question is this...how do you switch an 18 month old to a 16 hour time difference. Emma napped this afternoon and fell asleep this evening, I was all smug that "hey, this is easy" but at 10:30 she was wide awake, ate a meal and has been playing happily ever since. It may be a long night for this Momma!

Thanks, again and again, for all the support and prayers. I know many have asked our extended family for updates and pictures of our journey to and from China to get our beautiful daughter. We can't wait for all of you to meet her and see for yourself how she is just so precious. We feel so very blessed to have been led on this journey and it has changed our lives forever. I think the hugeness of it all hasn't really 'hit' me yet...but wow...what a challenging and blessed time for our whole family. As one of my adoption mommy friends said...we are praying as the glue dries...as Emma settles into the family and feels more at home with us and her surroundings.

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On our way tomorrow!!!

We had a relaxing day and are ready for our last night in Guangzhou. Emma was more relaxed today, we are thankful for that. She has no idea that the next two days will be full of turmoil for her...new beds, airplanes, more strange sounds, etc etc...but we are sure anxious to get her home to a routine. We leave our hotel tomorrow around 3pm and after receiving Em's passport with visa attached, we will take a private van ride to Hong Kong. It is a 3 1/2 hour drive...which will put us in our hotel pretty late. So the next time you hear from us may be in Tokyo..or even better..Seattle! But starting at 3 tomorrow we begin the long journey home! We are so thankful for this beautiful place we have stayed in, but are ready to head home!

Thank you for your prayers...that Emma would have a smooth travel time and not be too upset. She seems to stay calm in my arms most of the time...so that will be the plan as we travel. See you at home!!!


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French Fry Girl!

Sworn In!

Today we woke to head to the US Consulate. It was not anything impressive and they don't allow camera's or cellphones inside. It is like entering the airport, with a scanner for your bags and a metal detector. We entered a waiting room with three other American families here for adoption, two we had never met and one that we flew from Seattle with. Here we all stood together and took an oath on our children's behalf. The oath is the same for any immigrant entering the US. Once we were sworn in, we finished the last paperwork to get Emma's US Visa and the papers that will allow her to become a US citizen once we land on US soil. The paperwork was all mostly completed beforehand so it was really just turning it all in.

After that meeting we did a little sightseeing at Shiaman Island (not sure how to spell it). It is an island made by the Pearle River, which is the third longest river in China and splits the city in half north and south. It has Colonial style architecture and is a popular place for wedding photos. We saw 6 or 7 while we were there. Very pretty and also the spot of the famous statues of the children, which we took pictures of with Emma and myself. Here are a few souvenir shops...which are high pressure and remind me of being in Mexico or Guatemala, the shop owners follow you around and assume anything your eyes land on, you will buy so they give you 'a friendly price'. Bartering is not my thing...I just don't like to barter, but Justin does and I am sure we got some 'friendly prices' ;)

We wait today and most of tomorrow to receive our packet of papers from the Consulate with Emma's Chinese passport with a US Visa inside. We're doing great and Emma continues to amaze us...she has not had a single melt down today. She even would eat a little bit of bread at breakfast, more strides in trusting us. She has so far to go, but we are so encouraged by her progress in the short few days we have had her with us.

Until later, much love to all!


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Shiaman Island

Giving Daddy some lovin'

Sleepy girl missed the ivory carvings

Emma puckered up to her towel, any towel will do!

Chen Dynasty Academy, Sunday in Guangzhou

This doctor was all business...didn't even look at me once.

All babies like the stethoscope!

Leaving our hotel in Xian, on Friday.

Victory!!!

The victory of the day..Emma took a bite by herself and then from my hand. I bet you are wondering what was her first food? Well, I must say Emma was made to be an American because her first solid food since last Sunday.....drum roll please....McDonald's french fries! Yes, it is true she loves fries almost as much as her Mama! We are so excited that she is relinquishing this area of control she has held over us...and trusting us to help her meet her needs. What a great way to end the evening!

After our most delish dinner at McD's we ventured another direction from our hotel and found the most exquisite park. Not loud and busy like the other park we visited nearby..but quiet, serene, and fewer people. We even sat on a bench to enjoy the sights for a while. The interesting thing about life in a city of 10 million people is that the streets are 8 lanes across here at our hotel (some places they are less but still busy as can be) and it seems like a life or death situation to cross them. However, in this part of the city there are vast tunnels underground that lead you all over. It is eery at first because you go a LONG ways down before you level out and follow the signs to the next spot you want to emerge from. It is confusing but an oh-so-welcome way to avoid risking life and limb in the streets. We walked around a long time like true foreigners watching people and trying to figure out how to actually get across the street. We finally just started down some of the tunnels that are nearby and low and behold there is a whole network under the city. We forgot the camera so tomorrow will head back that way for shots of the park.

Emma is doing beautifully. She has changed so much in the short few days we have had her. I can't wait to see how she blooms and blossoms with the love that she will get from her siblings, extended family, and friends at home! We are all so blessed to be a part of something so beautiful that is far from anything I could've thought up myself. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for the awesome privilege and responsibility to care for 'one of the least of these'. Can't wait for what tomorrow brings!

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Guangzhou

Friday afternoon our guide was called suddenly to her home province, not sure why, she wouldn't tell us. We were introduced to David, another guide, but not an adoption guide. He was so excited to 'guide' us for a few hours because he is expecting his first (and probably only) baby in one month. He drilled me with pregnancy questions and we swapped how Chinese versus American ways are so different. It was funny to see how the customs and traditions overshadow what a person actually believes. There were things he and his wife have done or will do, not because they think it is right, but because 'ancient Chinese' customs tell them to do it. We did a lot of laughing and he couldn't believe we have five children. "not in China' he said! He took us to the "Muslim Quarter" of Xian, which was really fun, as there was a huge market there full of interesting things. We didn't have time for shopping because we were to meet another guide at the airport with Emma's passport in hand. So off we went to the crazy airport at 5 pm. We thankfully received Emma's passport with no problem. It was very hot in Xian on Friday (around 80 I think) and we could overhear on the loud speaker almost every flight being delayed. We were thankful that our flight boarded on time...however not so thrilled to be sitting for the next 75 minutes in the hot airplane, waiting for the runway to clear for our turn. The flight was terribly turbulent..but we were thankful that Emma fell asleep soon after we sat down and didn't wake up until after we landed at 10:50.

We are now in Guangzhou and have already decided this is the best place in China. Where everything in Xian was confusing, dirty, and gray...here it is lovely, green, and friendly. Although we didn't get to bed until after 12, we left the hotel 'early' at 9 and headed for Emma's physical examination. I was really nervous for this but it was easy. They took her picture in one room for her Visa appointment on Monday then we went to the exam area where they measured her, gave her a once over, and sent us to the waiting room for the all important document proving we had been there. I don't really understand the exam part, because they aren't treating anything or even commenting to us what they observe...really just a formality, I think. We spent our waiting time collecting and checking over our documents for Monday's appointment at the consulate, with our guide, Beky. She is super nice and very helpful....even took us to the store to restock on formula and diapers.

Emma is being a trooper. She must be so tired, taking in all the new sights, sounds, and smells around her. She is so brave, I so admire the strength of my little one!

We are staying at the Hotel China Marriott...it is super nice. The free breakfast this morning was even better than brunch at the Coeur D'Alene. :) We keep trying things with Em, but she is happy living on her liquid diet for now. We are in a pretty spot here..trees everywhere and there is a park down the street that we will venture out to this afternoon. For now, dear sweet sister is snoring away in her crib. There is a Starbucks in this hotel, a McDonald's next door, and 7-11 across the street. We are thankful to be where there are more familiar things.

We are free for the rest of the day to rest and relax and check out the shops around our hotel. Sunday is more sightseeing and more rest before the most-important Consulate appointment on Monday morning. So excited to be seeing the last leg of this process being completed!! We have grown so much and are so in love with Emma. I think anytime someone adopts, especially without ever meeting the child, there is a fear in the back of your mind "what if I don't love" her like my bio kids. I am no different and had these types of fears from the beginning. I chose to love Wei Xiao Ting from the moment we set eyes on her...but now it is not a mind decision...it is so very much a heart condition! We are in love with our Emma!

I am sorry for the lack of pictures...I will head down to the lobby now and see if I can get at least one up. There is no wifi in the rooms here...only something to hook up to with a laptop..so I guess you live and learn. Sitting in the lobby for an hour to download a picture isn't the greatest..so bare with me. Almost home and then we can share all the pictures. :)

Love to all, miss everyone so much and can't wait to get home and share Emma with you all!
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Sunday in Guangzhou

Today is a rest day...we went on a small outing to the Chen Dynasty Academy. It was the school for the Chen children...if your last name was Chen you were in, if your last name wasn't Chen...you were out! I think that is how I understand it. It is a 'new' building, only 120 years old versus the real old buildings which are over 600 years plus. The building is full of carvings made of wood, stone, brick, and ceramic. They also do art here, so it was fun to pick out some pretty pieces and have the artist put the girls' names in Chinese and English on them.

The carvings were beautiful and so detailed. There was also a pretty and peaceful garden in the center of this building, which is mostly open air rooms to allow the air to pass through and cool the classrooms. It gets very hot here in the summer...so I can't imagine the rooms ever cooled too much.

The weather here is beautiful! We are not too hot. We finally got hit up by the 'granny police' this morning. The woman smiled at us and then gave us some understandable sign language that our baby needed to be in long sleeves. Let no baby be uncovered here. Emma is the hottest kid I have ever met...sweating all the time. Plus, she isn't used to the warm humid weather, her province is much cooler than it is here.

Emma continues to adjust so nicely. We are so encouraged by her actions and reactions to us. Her biggest issue right now is that when she gets nervous, scared, or upset she starts scratching her ears. They heal up some and then she gets at them before we can restrain or distract her and we start all over with the healing. Poor thing. We were told she has eczema..but I am not sure. It may have started that way..but now it is just her habit when she is not content. We find the most upsetting things for her are new places with lots of noise. She is also initially upset when we enter a vehicle. Our conversations are full of questions, wondering 'what if' this means this or 'what if' she is reacting this way because of 'this'. Whatever 'this' is will forever be a mystery to us, but we are trying to be students of Emma and figure out what triggers her anxiety. I can't imagine her confusion. Our guide seems to be able to draw her attention and soothe her some...which the other guide never did.

Can't wait for tomorrow as we attend our Consulate meeting. So excited that we are approaching the last steps of our adoption of Emma. We aren't sure what the meeting entails...but we have every type of paperwork imaginable to prove Emma is ours! :) We'll see what is in store for us tomorrow.

Love to all! :)
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Patty Cake Girl

Emma smiles!

Saturday in Guangzhou

Sorry for the lack of communication. We are doing great but having a terrible time finding an Internet connection. I guess it works better if you are not relying on wifi. I will keep trying when time allows.

We flew into Guangzhou late Friday night and had more adoption appointments this morning. Emma had to have a medical exam, which is more of a formality than a real check up. We are all set and prepared with the last of our paperwork to apply for her visa Monday morning. This after we ventured out to a nearby park and tomorrow we are sightseeing some more. This city is a breathe of fresh air compared to Xian. It has actual foliage! Real trees and flowers! It us so refreshing! It is a city of 10 million!

Love to all and sorry again for the lack of pictures, but I just can't get them to load. Keep checking back!

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Grieving

Until today Emma has really been very easy going, not too phased by the lifestyle she was thrust into on Sunday. This morning though we see our sweet girl grieving. She woke up with some anxiety and lots of tears today. I am so sad for her breaking heart and yet thankful that she is able to grieve her lost 'normal'. Children thrive on routine, in my experience, but we have changed everything a child needs to feel secure...caregivers, diet, sleeping quarters, no more playmates, smells, touch, clothing, language, surroundings, sounds, etc etc, the list goes on to include almost everything in her whole life that has been familiar. As a mommy I just don't want her to cry because it means something is wrong...but I realized as I held her stiff body this morning that she needs to cry, needs to grieve, needs to let go of that which was familiar before she can fully accept us. Up until yesterday, she really would go to Justin and I equally, but I slowly see her preferring me and almost getting upset when I leave her vision..hard on both Justin and I but still good that she is making a distinction between people. Today she is crying and pushing away from me, but when I put her down she screams even harder...she doesn't know what she wants. She relaxes for a few seconds and then throws her head back as if to get as far away from me as possible, only to melt back into me.

We are still trying to figure out her diet also. Right now she is only drinking formula. If anyone out there knows or can figure out how many ounces of formula an 18 month should be drinking to get the right amount of calories...please tell! We are winging it. I did sneak some rice cereal and applesauce into her bottle today...which she took a little bit of. She doesn't actually suck the bottle, more like chews it, so we have cut the tops of her bottles so it comes more easily for her. Such a learning process, trying to figure out what it is she needs from us.

I have been reading and re-reading James, chapter 1, clinging to the fact that God promises wisdom when we ask. We need wisdom as healing takes place in Emma's little heart and to help her adjust to everything that is her new 'normal', and wisdom to know what to do in God's timing. Thanks for the continued prayers on her behalf.

We just have a down day today, which is nice since I don't think Emma was up for any social events or sightseeing. We ventured back down the street to the supermarket. It is a two story business almost like a Walmart back home, the floors are separated by moving ramps, like an escalator but flat, to get your cart up. Kids, you would love it! We went upstairs and found the baby isle, hoping to get some formula. I picked out what I had bought the other day and started walking away when three ladies (who worked there) all descended upon me and one of them grabbed the formula out of my hands. Turns out, you can't just take the item to the front counter to check out, you have to write down the item and the price on a little piece of paper (in Chinese of course) and then just hand the cashier the paper. I guess this is good because then no one handles your food...but you have to pay for upstairs things upstairs and then pay for things downstairs, downstairs. All in all, it is good these women only have one child because I can't imagine taking all of our kids to the store and then have to write down every item before I check out. That would take FOREVER!
We had needed a few other things but we a little scared out, trying to figure it all out..so we will have to go back and try again for some more applesauce. :) We also spotted some really cute towels/rags that would be great for her 'lovey' but not sure how to purchase those...without a translator..we'll see how brave we are feeling! I wish I was brave enough to take pictures there...but we are already a total spectacle, so I just can't bring myself to cause more attention to come my way. Maybe I will this afternoon, since we won't ever be going back there! :)

Thanks everyone, again, for the prayers and support, we are waiting until 3 pm tomorrow to check out of our hotel, receive Emma's passport, and then head to the airport for the (almost) last leg of the trip. We have more adoption appointments in the coming days in Guangzhou and then we spend one night in Hong Kong, before we fly to Japan, Seattle, and then Spokane. We rejoiced this morning when we realized that one week from right then, we would be home! What a blessed homecoming that will be...seeing the other kids and the rest of the family! Can't wait!

Much love to all!

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Random Thoughts for Tuesday and Wednesday!

China is treating us well, we are slowly learning the ropes here in our hotel and have found a couple of places to eat. KFC and the hotel lobby restaurant buffet. Tuesday we just spent in our hotel room, studying Emma and trying to learn her needs and wants. She is so easy and yet it is so hard to know how to do things for her. Specifically, she will have nothing to do with a spoon..not sure how they fed her at the SWI, because they told us she ate noodles, soft bread, soup, congee, but we have not been successful getting anything into her mouth. She won't open and when we have coaxed some congee into her she thrashes her head like it is the worst thing she's ever had. She also will not bring anything to her mouth, like a cookie, she just holds it. So we are thankful that she loves her bottle and even seeing the sight of it makes her crazy until we plug it into her mouth. She isn't suffering as we are offering her lots of bottles. Might have to go back and get that formula from Switzerland after all! :) Although she has taken three different types already and hasn't balked at any of them.

Yesterday we ventured out of our hotel to the nearby supermarket. That was an experience. No one speaks any English there and everyone just stares and stares at us. They look at Emma and then again at us. I wonder what they are thinking? No one has gotten into our faces and started rapid fire question asking in Chinese...but I am sure it will happen sometime. Our agency gave us a translated paragraph stating we love China and traveled here to finalize our adoption and then our promise to love Emma and take care of her. I carry several in my pocket. Anyway, the store was an experience, we found some water and pop at the store and made a fast exit. We spent the rest of the day in our room, playing with Emma and resting. We have found her favorite comfort item...a rough towel. The second evening I gave her a bath..I laid her on the bed on her towel and she felt that on her face as I dried her off...her lips puckered up like a kiss and she has been kissing on her towel ever since. It is the cutest thing...so much for all the nice soft blankets I brought for her. She uses them for a cover at night...but really just wants a washcloth. So if you see us around home and my child has a washrag in tow...that is why. My friend, Sarah, who also adopted recently from the same place as Emma came from, says her son loves the same. The nannies must have used them frequently. Emma mostly just kisses at her but will also chew it sometimes. Something else we watch Emma do, is play with her three favorite toys...her two hands and her right foot. Her right foot reaches all the way up to her face and I am sure she spent hours on end playing with it while sitting in her crib. When she is awake in the crib she also pushes herself into the corner and sits propped up there...also something she must've been taught to do. Some of these behaviors I will cherish in my heart as what got her through her existence in the SWI...but I pray they are things she will soon move on from because she realizes there are people to love and play with her. What a lonely life she must've lived....I cannot wait to get her home and help her learn how so many people love her and value her.

Today, Wednesday, we set out to visit the Terra Cotta Warriors. It was quite the place to see. One of the man made wonders of the world. There were all kinds of nationalities there taking in the history behind it. We actually met the farmer who was digging the well where they found the first part of the massive underground army. This farmer was a poor man, toiling away to make a living and now all he does is sit in the welcome center and pose for pictures with people, because the Chinese believe having your picture with a lucky man will give you luck. A little bit of the story behind the Terra Cotta Warriors....the Emperor, a cold blooded killer, wanted to be protected in the afterlife. He spent most of his life imposing this project on his people...all of whom he later killed. The entire underground army isn't uncovered yet and a lot of it was destroyed by another Emperor. But they have excavated thousands already. Each warrior is unique and was a model of someone real. They are very detailed down to strands of hair on their heads, fingernails and palm prints, and even tread on the bottom of the shoes. They stand in battle formation in their underground dwellings on a brick road, our guide told us every brick that makes up the flooring is signed on the bottom by the artist who made it. Also, each Warrior is signed by its creator as well. There is a massive section of the 'pit' that is being used just to put together warriors that were crushed by an enemy Emperor. It is really a puzzle lovers dream, I guess, but it seemed a little bit overwhelming to me. There was a huge amount of them all in standing at attention, that were completely built from fragments. Justin and I really just marveled at what one man can cause to happen. He built such a structure in his life to enhance his afterlife...if only he had known the truth what could he have done for good instead of evil. It is said he 'took' into death all kinds of people who he thought would benefit his afterlife...most of the scholars of the day, all of his workers, his wives and concubines, and more. I really wondered why such an evil man is so revered..even though he built incredible things in his life at Emperor (which also includes the Great Wall and a magnificent palace, which is destroyed. Crystal, our guide the walking history book, says if the palace was still in existence, it too would be another man made wonder. If you are really enthusiastic about the warriors, you can even have one made in your image. We opted out...but we did see Obama! :) Those are my random thoughts of the day. We are now back at our room with nothing on the schedule until Friday afternoon, when we will receive our notarized papers and Emma's Chinese Passport...then it is a late flight out of here and onto Guangzhou.

Emma is sleeping great and doing well besides eating.. a big thanks for all the prayers. We are truly changed by this experience and are thankful we were led on this journey. Our lives will never be the same and we are so thankful for our new beautiful daughter.

Prayers to all back at home...until later!



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She smiles with her nose all scrunched up! Getting laughs today!

Official Adoption Is Complete!

The rest of Sunday!

I cannot go back and look at my blog to see what I have written or posted, due to being a little tired, I cannot remember...hahahaha! So sorry if I am repeating myself over and over. I really want to be able to look back and be able to reconstruct this huge time in our lives for Emma. Someday she might want to know what went into bringing her into our family, so thanks for taking that in account and thanks so much for the comments you who have commented have NO IDEA how it has encouraged me and Justin.

Once we got Emma in our hands yesterday, we brought her back to the hotel. We talked our guide into at least helping us find some bottled water, which she finally took Justin out on the street to find a vender for that. We are in a beautiful hotel, nicer than the Couer D Alene (our room is on the 23 floor) but outside is another story. I think we will find it easier to venture out as we are not so tired and know what to expect from Em. So anyway, we figured out a bottle for the little one and gave her some oatmeal we had brought, (not a good idea, as it came up), we gave up on eating dinner after we asked every person in the lobby and no one could help us. :) Fishy crackers did the job. We aren't starving. :) Emma had a bath and then fell asleep in her Daddy's arms and transitioned right to her crib. She woke in the night with a 101.8 fever but thankfully I brought meds to help her through the night. She is coughing very raspy, but I don't think she is getting worse. There is a hospital very close by if we get too concerned.

We woke very early and had breakfast in the lobby...which made us feel so much better. The highlight of the morning was talking to family back home...parents and kids! We have only heard how great our kids are doing and we are so thankful they are in great hands...we haven't worried a bit about them, but miss them something fierce. It has only been gone for six days but it feels longer. Love you all!



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Mommy & Emma

Official Adoption Day

Today after we ate we went back to the same place as yesterday...where our adoption became official. We were asked many questions, that they already know from our paperwork, and had to promise never to abandon Wei Xiao Ting. She asked us several times to promise because 'very important' to not abandon our daughter. Once we got through those formalities we paid all kinds of money and met with the notary. We were told that the Notary is equivelant to a Supreme Court Justice, so a very important man. He must've been having a bad day because he locked his notary stamp in some sort of safe box and couldn't figure out how to open it...so we had to come back several hours later for our adoption certificates. :)

We then went to the police station to apply for Emma's Chinese Passport, which we will pick up before we leave Xian on Friday. So for the next three days as we wait, we will rest and do a little bit of sight seeing...specifically the Terra Cotta Warriors.

We also went to the equivelant of a Babies R Us today to get some baby items and some shoes for Emma...they saw us coming I think because all we got was some crackers, formula, three jars of baby food and some shoes...for $45.00. Shopping there was quite the experience, because they followed us around and didn't let us pick out our own things...the especially wanted us to buy formula imported from Switzerland. Apparently they are proud of that?! ? All in all it has been a great day and a lot less stressful. Emma is doing great! She is a true gem, just like we knew she would be.

Love to all!

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China Traffic Rocks!

Monday Morning

Didn't get much written for Gotcha Day..and don't really remember what we sent off since it was such an overwhelming day. We left Beijing and arrived at Xian without any trouble. The airport in Beijing was so huge...the terminals you go to, or gates, are in a three level building. You eventually get sent to a door which leads you to a bus and then they taxi you (standing room only) out weaving through the runway until they (hopefully) find your plane. We were only at one terminal building, there were many. It was crazy and I wish we could've taken pictures but they don't allow it.

We arrived at Xian and were met by a guide, who was a talking history book. She seems very knowledgable in the adoption process but not overly sympathetic what we are actually going through. She took us to our hotel for an hour to unpack and get ready to meet Emma. Then when we left the hotel we had to go to the Bank of Ch*na to exchange our huge wad of new US dollars to Chinese currency. It was a very nerve wracking process, which I am amazed we even got done. We were exchanging more than the allowable amount for one day. It had us a bit frazzled and by then late to our next stop...Emma. When we got to the huge building where we would meet Emma, we walked into a huge abandoned building and got onto an elevator that was only plywood, seriously! Somehow, by Gods grace we made it up to the correct floor, which I think the building is being remodeled or something. We walked down a little hallway and already heard children crying and people talking. We walked in and there sitting in the arms of a nanny and next to the director..was Emma. No one had to introduce us, we knew it was her. She had been waiting for two hours for us and yet still was just sitting there content. She let me hold her right away, no tears, no struggle or reaching back for the Nanny. She really loved my glasses and kept pulling them off. That one moment time stopped but then chaos took over...we were asked to sign all kinds of papers, ask any questions we had for the nanny, and then we were ushered out. One note is that the couple we met in the airport the first night were there as well, but there was a miscommunication and there daughter had never left the orphanage over 9 hours away. They had to leave empty handed. I am hoping we see them today when they get to meet their daughter. Kara, the woman, took all kinds of pictures of us with Emma, she will email to me later...what a blessing!

Have to get ready to leave so will write again later, the internet doesn't work in our room so I am sitting in the lobby. Been trying to send pictures via cell-phone, glad you have gotten them and shared them, if you have.

Love to all, miss everyone so much! We are so tired but feeling better this morning after some breakfast. Will finish our days events later.

Blessings!

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Daddy & Emma

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Soon!

We leave our hotel in 45 minutes!! Pictures are not far away! So excited! Thanks for the prayers, we are so blessed!

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The Water Cube, part of Olympic park

Olympic Park, Birds Nest Stadium

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Forbidden City, Rock Gardens

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Forbidden City

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Saturday

Another busy day of seeing the sights in Beijing. It is cloudy and smoggy today. It is a given to have a sore throat and burning eyes, I think. We started the day off at the Forbidden City. It is my understanding that this place is made up of 9,000 separate buildings. It is the place where the emperor lived. Every building had a function or meaning. It was so vast, I cannot even describe it. Huge. Justin is quite taken with their rock garden features, they are mini mountains that were built in and among the buildings of the Forbidden City. It is a maze of buildings and much of it is blocked off, so you can't even see the bulk of it. However, we wondered for three hours and saw even more than Summer had ever seen. We ventured to a place where there was no one near and a man ushered us into a closed off area, where we saw the Emperor's bed. They hold in high esteem this bed..quite ornate and not what we would call very comfy. The bed was many hundreds of years old. We saw many artifacts as well, jewelry used by the Empress, utensils, scepters, decorations, many statues that were worshipped. Most things were made of jade, so in just like new condition. They were often from the 1700's but some were marked with B.C. dates. There were people by the hundreds in every court yard that we entered and quite a few more children than we saw yesterday at the Summer Palace...but, of course, never more than one or two.

We then went to the Olympic Park. Built for the 2008 Olympics, it was quite vast and we decided that no other country could put so many resources into such a place. Underground is a shopping center that was beautiful and so huge we only saw a small bit of it as we found a place to eat. The food again was quite tasty, but the portions are incredible. Summer ordered us bowls of noodles and each person got their own bowl with about 6 cups of noodles and then another 1 cup portion of some sort of embellishment for the noodles, plus side dishes that were amazing.. This is how you eat noodles with chop sticks....SLUUUUURRRRPPP, slurp, sssssslurrrrp, sllllluuurrrrp. I find using the chopsticks to be fun, but I think our driver and Summer were silently laughing at my meager attempts to get it done. I finally mastered the peanuts though.

We are currently at our hotel taking a rest until dinner, not that we will be hungry any time soon. We are still quite messed up as far as our schedule but are resolved not to nap so we can sleep tonight. Can't believe we are 24 hours away from holding Emma. We fly out of Beijing at 9:40 and are scheduled to meet Emma at 4 pm. We are nervous but SO so SO ready to meet her. It can't come soon enough. We, I admit, have enjoyed these couple of days learning some Chinese culture and enjoying each others company...but I am ready for the real reason I came here. Emma Grace Morgan. Thank you for all the prayers, we have surely experienced safety and health so far by God's grace. We ask continued prayer as we prepare to take on the awesome responsibility of our precious and loved fifth child and also for her to experience peace through the situation. Although at 18 months, one would think she won't remember her life at the SWI, but our daughter will mourn the loss of her present home and the loss of all she has known. You can pray that God grants her little heart healing from the tremendous stress that she will go through in the coming days. Protection from illness and the absence of fear.



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Trying Pictures Again...not sure if they went??

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Friday

Sorry for the delayed update. We have not found the internet to be very reliable in our room, so we feel just like we are at home, (haha), this morning we are trying down at the lobby. It is Saturday morning and we are waiting for our guide to take us out for todays adventures. Hard to believe that in just 24 hours from now we will be at the airport waiting to go so much closer to our Emma. Yesterday we had a jam packed day of walking, walking, walking, and walking some more. It was a beautiful day in Beijing, due to the winds the day before there was hardly any smog at all, so the view was mostly clear.

We started out the day enjoying a great breakfast at our hotel. It is a continental style meal, where you can order the standard omelet, have pastries, four different kinds of 'congee' which is porridge, or you can be adventurous and have all kinds of dinner items, pork, veggies, corn on the cob, etc. It reminds us of the Couer dAlene brunch in a way. It is quite nice and a great way to start the day.

Next we met our guide and driver and drove for an hour or so to the Great Wall. I am quite amazed at the driving here, for those of you who have been to Guatemala, it is similar to that. There don't appear to be any rules. We have been blessed with a driver who is excellent and he can blaze a trail like none I have ever seen. If you want by and there is no way...just go between the other cars. Seriously, make another lane. We feel very safe, despite the craziness. If people drove this way at home, there would be serious road rage, but it is just the way it is done. There is only occasional honking when an accident is imminent. We have seen no accidents.....yet!

We got to The Great Wall, and yes, sure enough it is built on a mountain side. Not for the faint hearted and not for someone with knee trouble. It was super windy but we ventured quite a ways up the mountain, until the oxygen was too thin to continue (joking of course, but we were tired) Even our guide had her tongue hanging out. There were hilarious signs along the way that said stuff like, "Coronary cerebral disease be aware", as in don't have a heart attack up here because no one is coming to take you down. :) We got tired enough and made our way down. The Wall is surely a marvel and we couldn't believe the amount of stone used to construct it. We could have spent all day and gone back today and still not seen all of it, it is just so huge. But, Summer our guide had plans for lunch for us so we left. Another hour of driving through the city that never ends. Beijing reminds me of Boise, all flat with mountains around. It is all brown here right now, like at home.

We went to lunch at the jade carving place. We were served standard Chinese cuisine, like what we eat at New Garden. It was tasty. Next a man named Eric, gave us a tour of the jade store and explained to us about the jade, how it was carved, and showed us several amazing pieces that were made there. One was a ship, eight feet long and five feet tall, for a mere $61,ooo dollars. We sure hope we can get through customs with it, as it will make a great embellishment in our water feature at home. Okay, not really. :) But it was amazing. I will have to share the pictures later. We got quite an education on a lot of symbolism in Chinese culture. Everything in that place 'meant' something to the Chinese people. The think having all these symbols in there possession will bring them peace, love, happiness, prosperity, etc etc...so sad to know they have it all wrong. They have many blessings here...but not because of the dragons and incense. So sad, burdens my heart and makes me wonder how the Christians here 'blend' in.

Next, we got into the van again with our trusty driver and weaved our way to The Summer Palace. Our guide, Summer, is a sweet girl from Inner Mongolia, and has only lived here for 5 years. While she is a helpful interpreter, she isn't really a tour guide. I am not convinced she knew anything about the Summer Palace, and I suspect everything she told us was what she was over-hearing from the other tour guides around us. So, the Summer Palace from what I understand, is the place that the Emperor and some of his favorite wives spent the summers (he had 3000 to choose from). It is an amazing maze of rooms, called his house, that skirt the perimeter of a beautiful lake, which was partially frozen. In the picture I posted, in the distance is a temple...which we made our way to. It was an amazing structure but again, so empty. We actually went into the temple itself and saw the god, a statue of a 24 armed woman...worshipped for the reason of blessing the people with children, which I found ironic. At this point, our guide paid her monetary homeage and bowed down three times to the god. I asked why we could not take pictures there and she said because you cannot have a picture of god. All in all, we hiked for miles to see it all. Can't wait to share more pictures with you all. The architecture is amazing. The whole complex was burned down by the French Military at one time.. but it was all rebuilt.

One interesting observation I made today was the absence of children. We only saw 6-8 children out at these sights today. The children we did see made me realize how close we are to having Emma by our side. Oh, I. can. not. wait.

We were exhausted by this time, our minds knew it was 4 pm...our bodies said it was the middle of the night. We took a quick nap back at the hotel and then ventures out for dinner. We ate at a place that reminded us of Eddy's at home. It was a dumpling restaurant...which could be my new favorite. They were yummy and I am glad we let Summer pick our restaurant, because it was in a place I would never have felt like I could stop. I am working on mastering my chop stick skills, not chapstick Matt! :) never dropped a thing on the floor yet!

All in all, it was a busy and exciting day. We are ready today to venture to the Forbidden City, which is neither a city nor forbidden anymore. Then we will visit the Olympic City. Looking forward to traditional Duck dinner tonight. That is it for now...gotta get ready to meet Summer. Love to all at home. We will try and make it to the lobby tonight again..to see if we can send more pictures and some text.

Blessings!

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